I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
