You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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