you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I had to cum in my sink.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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