Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
