i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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