their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
