Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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