using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
