Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
foreskin is a definite game changer
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
