Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
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yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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