If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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