I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize