why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
