Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
