I've blown a few things in my day
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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