Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
