her vagine was all disorganized.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
