so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
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no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
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Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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