Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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