you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
