We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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