Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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