she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
