I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
