I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Quick, to the slutcave!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
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I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.