ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this