she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.