Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize