Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize