do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
