First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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