ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
