Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
