he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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