Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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