we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
