You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wanna passion pit in your ass
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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