And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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