god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
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mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
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Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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