WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
