YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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