people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
