just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize