As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
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Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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