so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dicks are not precious.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
