perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
