The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
