i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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