what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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