I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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