never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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