Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
