My room smells like vodka and shame
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge