If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
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Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
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there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress