why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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