Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  "auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made

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  (404): "auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made http://tfl.nu/y4iq
  Replies (23) Good night (930) Bad night (4783)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.

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  (512): I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order. http://tfl.nu/zk7q
  Replies (16) Good night (5899) Bad night (1555)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.

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  (305): Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level. http://tfl.nu/s74q
  Replies (5) Good night (3010) Bad night (971)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin

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  (919): He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin http://tfl.nu/8jd6
  Replies (17) Good night (3028) Bad night (1160)
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  (347): View more from New York

  it's been a while because I don't count the hooker

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  (347): it's been a while because I don't count the hooker http://tfl.nu/ahgm
  Replies (10) Good night (861) Bad night (3190)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment

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  (201): nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment http://tfl.nu/9t1d
  Replies (13) Good night (1265) Bad night (4372)
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  (716): View more from New York

  For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.

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  (716): For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st. http://tfl.nu/kimy
  Replies (6) Good night (2096) Bad night (760)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities

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  (217): Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities http://tfl.nu/y8n2
  Replies (3) Good night (2801) Bad night (1600)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.

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  (651): Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize. http://tfl.nu/ao6w
  Replies (5) Good night (2132) Bad night (711)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.

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  (810): Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be. http://tfl.nu/ssx0
  Replies (5) Good night (2301) Bad night (742)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry

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  (785): Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry http://tfl.nu/dsfb
  Replies (7) Good night (638) Bad night (1350)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina

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  (603): I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina http://tfl.nu/bksp
  Replies (7) Good night (2485) Bad night (563)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."

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  (228): I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult." http://tfl.nu/mdv1
  Replies (4) Good night (1142) Bad night (639)
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  (212): View more from New York

  He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color

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  (212): He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color http://tfl.nu/b4a7
  Replies (4) Good night (362) Bad night (568)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!

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  (810): He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect! http://tfl.nu/9c1u
  Replies (5) Good night (611) Bad night (267)

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