So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?