Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it