I'm really into asian looking animals
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!