I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
