Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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