you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
