Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
