I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
