do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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